This song could be about how his depression made him do things he's no so proud of, and the happy songs are to mask everything he did but no mater what he did or how loud he sang (tried to be happy) the depression always came back. Over all the song was, in my opinion, to express how in the end no mater how hard he tried he still was depressed. Or It can be about madness, he felt really bad, maybe it's about his addiction on drugs. He felt like his head is insane, he was depressed, but he refused to. So he wanted to get rid of it, he tried anything.
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